tık

i feel through time now.

i know before time was time, things were things.

definitions defined. time meant everything when it was not realized.

now it is in between its definition, and its existence.

“today is a tomorrow i worried about yesterday.”

this is another night
the night i see you again
another which i never thought i’d ever live
it is not our past that makes us ‘we’, “us”
it is our future “we”;
me
you

them
are never meant to realize

it is another night in which i’ll see you again

as the sea you are
as the “ünlem” i am in.

this wont be another night
in which we fall apart
but
neither we get together again

this is a night
which we’ll again want to unlearn
like that of the value which oysters don’t realize
like that of tthe cough that makes us think we should stop smoking
this is a night we are all born
and dead into the undefined sacrifice into it

the night is upon us
and this is another night
in which we try to define
resolve
refine

i saw you tonight
after a big big rest.

de-

fined

re-filed.

her su damlamız yine dökülmeli

ki akabilsin

akamadığında

havada bulabilsin kendini.

havadan karıştığında herşeye.

her şeyimiz

dinginliğimiz olabilsin.

the sea
.the valley.

“parmaklarını keşfettiğin günü unutamayacağımı
deklare etmek nefis bi an.”

1908-2008

sahi

2080’de de bi yüzyıl içiçigeçmiş olarak gelecek karşımıza. aniliğin planlanmışlığı. rastlantısallığın şaşırtıcı derecede güzel oluşu. sıradanlaığın karmaşası.

eski defterlerden. romantik era

”
Artık ne sen konuşmalısın ne başkası

yaşamak adına geçtik bütün değerleri

beyazın en orta yerinde duydu yürek

bir rüzgar tutmaz insanı uzun boylu

bu rüzgar serseri

şimdi kavramların ve rüzgarların cümle dışında

durdum

bekliyorum

gelme.

”

gülten akın – siyah beyaz -memed fuat türk şiir antolojisi

sağlıcakla. sollucakla.

rastlaşılamaayn her yeni tekilliğimizin eşsizliğinde. görüşmemek üzere.

in my dreams

i see voices

hear colors

when woke up. it’s a mad man’s nightmare i’m seeing.

these i realize are by instinct:

responsibility. confidence. loyalty. awareness. wisdom. respect.

any other may become a part of murphy’s law elements.

and what does murphy’s law say  about instinct?

world ain’t big enough

with the intention of running.

ain’t small for coincidences,

if there are meant to be any.

my world ain’t even big enough.

neither for me nor for you my love.

words; mean though,

are mean enough, though…

to collapse a hole

within a brand new one.

things got to me. i started o think like a thing now and then. i starred. things shined. thoughts dwelled. things got well now and then. got to thinking, didin’t love the surround noises, didn’t want to be interrupted by the public. had to find something or someone to get to love, and to be loved and spoiled, but thinking on it would’nt overcome the issue. things sucked now and then. i sucked. thinking of sucking sucked. life sucked. the hole life out of us.

i’m still. still life. i’m life that i wish no one would live in me. i’m someone elses life and dream and wanna tell that someone else there’s nothing special about this. that someone else is my thoughts, my things, my obsession. but there’s nothing special with that too.

i’m yet. and yet but not. i could laugh myself out like a toy. i liked all toys. not myself being a toy.

i fooled myself yesterday through a genious’s mind. geniousity. i fooled thath genious was no special. no fool was ever special like that genious’s being non-special.

i read these words then:

” the glass is neither half full, nor half empty. it is twice as big as it has to be. ”

then things stopped. glass broke and bunny rabbits came out of it. water was still. and yet. shaped. sharp. shock.

…………

Im half sick on the drinks you mixed
Through your

True dreams
Of wichita

,,,,,,,,,,

virgüller sonrası oknu.

adedinizi skym. adetten olsun niceniz.

(freestyle verse)

” Just as you take my hand
Just as you write my number down
Just as the drinks arrive
Just as they play your favourite song
As the magic disappears
No longer wound up like a spring
Before you’ve had too much
Come back and focus again

The walls abandon shape
You’ve got a cheshire cat grin
All blurring into one
This place is on a mission
Before the night owl
Before the animal noises
Closed circuit cameras
Before you’re comatose”

……

i know i know

once in a twice months and wrong engilish….

enough of the rabarba

let get to doing

no these were not what i thought of writing

but you

anyone

anyhow

reading

anyway.

“my kisses tou you. ay kis yu ulalayn”

%D

açık kalmış evenim evet

everet everest e tırmanmak kadar zormuş evden inbeternete girmek.

grimek

açık kapıdan kafanı uzatıp dışarı bakmak ama farkına varamamak

even bettter when aware but not better to handle things around

everet bi hayal kurmak ‘imiş’

imsizliklerimizde boğulurken(e) hergün(ü ötesi berisi)

sonra piano magic bi aletmiş, kabalevsky eğitimleri sonrası. sonra sözleri alengirli ironic and f.ckin too ligual imiş

imlerimizde görrdüğümüz ile

imişlerimizde tecrübe ettiklerimiz.

kalem reglili

kağıt kana alıcı imiş.

ama unutmuşuz yeri geldiğinde…

im leri imiş leri.

lary.

i saw a dream

i was a lucid dream

a dream eye could only see

a sea only lucy would imagine.

sadece macundan ve dreamless ly hopeless ly dreamin

eye was

i saw

i was

adream

i dreamt

what i saw

was eye

could see.

dead.

is another word for

survival.

now i’m here.

no eye’s near.

so let’s play. . .

‘cos we all know

no dream dies.

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”

insanlara nasıl davranılması gerektiği konusunda çoğu zaman büyük boşluklara düşüldüğünü gözlemliyorum aynaya her yeni bir çizik attığımda.

konuşkan, sevecen, espirili, smart enough to handle olarak bilinirken bir anda iletişim tıkacı, somurtkan, suskun, odun gibi bir mizaca ve zekaya sahip olan biri olunabiliyor aniden.

eğer çevrenize çok çok anlayışlı davranırsanız bu, bizi bitirecektir.

eğer çokça kaba davranırsanız bu, çevrenizle aranızdakini bitirecektir (olmasın da mı zaten nedir?)

eğer davranmaz durursanız, bu çevrenizi bitirecektir ( i have NO NAME. i am with ANY REASON. serenity)

eğer severseniz. eğer.

bazen en güzeli yoldan şaşmamayı bilmek olsa gerek. kalpte sikişen filler olunca ve avuç içinizden daha da küçük bir kalbiniz var ise, belli uzuvların dışarı doğru acıtırcasına debelenmesi hiç de kaçınılmaz değil.

“the less room you give me, the more space i’ve got”

well then. no pain no gain.

ayna kırık mırık değil arkadaş. astral bi portal da değil ayna dediğin. alenen bir başkasında kendini bulmak aslında.

kendini aynada bulduktan sonra tabi.

ayna kendini nerede kaybetti de sana aynada bir başkasını bulmak kaldı peki?

every mirror is the best curved within ones mind.

i am the water

flat. still. untroubled. unruffled.

i am the sleep.

deep. calm.

you’d fall into serenity.

in air i walk. in deep dreams i wander.

life is my ecxtasy now and then…

sing me a song and i’ll kiss you along.

grant me a wish and fish shall be born.

When I close my eyes
I can see for miles
There’s comfort in my dark seat,
And chaos in the aisles

incubus

yoruldum. arkadaslarim askere, memleketine, suraya buraya gidiyor. sevmeyi ozledigimi hatirlamistim halbuki. deger vermeyi. kendime bir tane daha katip bin olmayi.

olmayi, olamamayi. yalniziligima ne kadar da alismisim, simdi de koparip sokemiyorum bu sacma salak yalnizlik organimi.

ecelemeyi ogrendim. iyi_eceler :|

sonra da uf oldum kanadim ufaktan. kanadim kirilmadi ama cok kan akti be. cok. niyeyse. ama sonra da iste yine yollar bizim ya hani.

emeklemeden kosmak olmuyo ya hani.

 

rabarba rabarba.

kelimelerim vahim

kelimelerim elim.

elimden kayip gidiverdi yine anlamlarim. anlarim sizi evenim. anlarima yaklasirsaniz tabi…

elim baskasinin simdi. ne benim ne kendimin.

ellerim en ellenesi yerlerinizden evenim, bilirsiniz.

siz bilirsiniz evenim. nasil isterseniz.

nasil istersiniz?

 

“If this is right, I’d rather be wrong
If this is sight, I’d rather be blind”

 

 

we all are

the moments

we pass through.

quote:

”And stop deling with that disappointment – arising from social animals – inside of you. Just be yourself… Whoever it is and how many it includes.

Some others do not appreciate that code of silence of yours. Those some others desire words spoken with honesty and sincerety…

So that nobody has to give up anything, no self and just accept that permanent truth of that time.

A farewell has to be spoken to be a farewell…”

silence is not all the time something to be appreciated, though all the proposals are almost welcome. except one.

i accept. my code of silence. why not others’ or somes’ or those and sums of loads of others’. and but not mine? but not you?

no expectation of it being appreciated.

just accept.

things are always as close to simple when they are that complex.

fair enough.

well. ¿

every other new beginning has come to an end. yet every good start we think as good is just another closer step to another another another.

doing nothing is still doing something, since you are DOING it.

and what else / what more are we supposed to think of? everything to be done ends in nothing. no thing?

is there  a way to prevent a good end to another bad beginning?

or to a bad end with a good beginnig?

crushing our minds?

when will all these stop?

what is worse; is worse than ever.

whatever is, what is ever?

which is good, ‘as strong as a pony’ lol

god is insane, to have let me be born.

what is better, than getting better?

moved. things stopped.

new home

new surround.

things stopped.

no fakebook. no web.

using other peoples machşnes and free cafe webconnections.

the spider is drunk. the city is dead.

press ok

to disconnect.

xxx o k xxx

an old video scrap

those were the days. just inverted and looped the whole sequence. love the butterfleye candle though. needs more sync too. but

those were the days.