i woke up with the words in my mind
“may be; i’m in love with my misery”
i thought it was a lyric
couldn’t remember. couldn’t hold on to it. fakefully good the sentence was, i did not believe in it.
just needed a melody.
then a google search comes out.
“did you mean this?”
no. google. stop correcting me.
with all the respect :: random but real good reading
“…A Brazilian girl, Gaby, who might be reading, gave me the best insight I’ve had in a long time. “You always know what you’re doing, regardless”… Drinking isn’t an excuse, being depressed, feeling alone, they don’t make up. I know what I’m doing, don’t I? Self-destruction, the path to Arcadia, little steps, everyday, to get to bottom. It’s crazy, I’m crazy, but that’s life, isn’t it? Oh for fucks sake, I fucked it up. Dreaming of a past I can’t forget, genuine smiles, all to ashes, burnt, I fucked it up. You always know what you’re doing. I fucked it up. I had it all. Everything I ever wanted, still dwelling, turning in circles. Maybe I’m in love with my misery, maybe I just like dwelling. It never got me anymore, but nothing ever did…”
now with a decent smile,
off goes my trial;
of boredom and masks.